Spring time

Ok so I haven't posted in forever, so I figure I better.. Where to start...

Well no longer working at Kia.. Haha.. Funny story, well now it is, wasn't so much then. Ended up getting dumped, and then a few days later his mom(who was my boss at the time) fired me.. Nice eh? Gotta love people. Anyhoo, after a few different interviews, and a couple job offers I found me a GREAT job! I work from home for an online college booking appointments for clients and calling people that requested information about us. The guy works with my doctor appointments and is very good about that. I was worried about working from home, and not around people but its been so nice..

I'm finally getting use to this menopause thing. I get another shot for it in May, so I'm a little worried wondering if I'm going to have the strong emotions like the first time I got the shot for it, but where they have me on hormones I'm crossing my fingers I won't. I still every once in a while can tell they are still messed up and start bawling at the drop of a hat, but nothing compared to what it was before. I'm checking with different doctors, I like mine but I'm not sure if he knows what to do with me. I'm still having pain, so I went to talk to him wondering if the shot didn't work as well as we'd hoped and right then he flat out said, well I think we just need to do a hysterectomy now, SO... I'm gonna check around before something like that happens.. But I'm handling dealing with it a million times better, except when people tick me off and I feel like decking them.. Haha but I was like that before, so its all good =)

I've been getting back into realizing what AMAZING friends I have.. I kind of hid out there for a while after surgery and trying to adapt with that, and dealing with a certain guy(who shall remained nameless) that I wasn't too happy with for a LONG time! Haha! Still makes me sad/mad when I really think about it, but oh well. So after I finally just decided to heck with it, I've been loving life!

I started singing again! A friend of mine that has a band, told me to come practice with his band one day, so I went over and we've talked about me doing some shows with him. I love it! Its a whole new experience for me singing with a band instead of my boring old Karaoke music! I'm learning a lot, and when I watch them play I'm amazed! We've talked about doing a couple songs with the whole group sometime, but we've also just ran through some songs with just me and him and talked about doing a few acoustic gigs. Trust me, I can't shut up about it! I've missed singing, and never knew of anywhere to sing besides the cornfest and rodeos in the summer. So its been a really good experience.

Other than that its been the same ol same ol.. Cameron just turned one a couple weeks ago! I can't believe how fast she's growing. I can't get enough of her.

She was so tired at her party, she didn't have a nap earlier that day, but she was still fun!

She wasn't quite sure what to do with the cake in the beginning, but she figured it out.

She got a bit of a sugar buzz!

She loves her grandpa

Birthday girl!

That's about it in my exciting life. Waiting to go play in Salt Lake with Amy and go see everyone up there! Its been way too long since I've seen all my old friends up that way.

Besides that just workin, playin, and singin! Always a good time!

♥

Blog Challenge, Day 22

What makes you different from everybody else...

Haha! Probably a few too many things.. I'm WAY too honest at times. I'm very headstrong. I don't believe in being fake, how are people going to get to know the real you, if your lying about everything that makes you, you? I feel like I'm one of the only girls in this town my age not married with babies. I try to help people, sometimes too much that I get walked on.. But yet I do it again, over and over lol.
I give advice, but I don't always take it.. Haha..
I don't know.. There are lots of things..
OH YA! And I'm probably the only girl you know thats 25 and going through menopause! How you like them apples?? HAHA

Blog Challenge, Day 21...

A picture of something that makes you happy..

Hm.. Easy

Riding Horses.. Its always fun with a friend, but I use to love just going out back and jumping on my horse alone and going up in the hills.. Its just nothing but you and your horse.. Good thinkin time!

Our old ranch.. No matter if we don't have it anymore, anytime I'm up there and feeling like I need some time to think, I always end up going there. I grew up there, and it still breaks my heart that its gone.. My best memories are with my dad and grandpa up there.

This is up by the old pond at the ranch

Blog Challenge, Day 20

Someone you see yourself marrying, or being with in the future...

WELL... This one has been really tough on me.. I'm 25 (pretty much) and single, and struggling with it.. So lets just say no one

Blog Challenge Day 19....

Nick names you have and why you have them...

I've never really had any nicknames besides Tac... Well I guess I do.. Lets see
Tac- Thats the one I get called the most
Tasty- I have some friends that think its funny lol.. I only let a certain few say it
Sis- Mom and Dad so they didn't get names confused! LOL
Use to be chick-Dad

I think thats about all I have.. Oh ya and T from Tasha!!! Lol

Blog Challenge

Day 16...

Another picture of yourself

AW the days of being skinny, and wearing itty bitty wranglers.. I miss those days!!! Lol

Day 17...

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why....

Miranda Lambert! I love her! She's a country girl, and she has an amazing voice.. She still keeps her roots, and goes out hunting.. I've seen her shoot a bow on tv, and am pretty sure she could out shoot most guys I know..


Day 18...
Plans/Dreams/Goals you have...
Hm.. Lets see.. To be a mom for sure.. To sing at the Grand Ol Oprey.. To go somewhere and do nothing but lay on a beach.. To build a house on our hayfield.. To be a good mom, and have my family be my world

Blog Challenge Day 15...

Put your Ipod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play...

So since I don't have an Ipod, yes I know its sad, I have some music on my computer here at work that I'll do it with instead....

1. Garth Brooks - For a Minute There (LOVE THIS SONG!)
2. Toby Keith - She's a Hottie
3. Chris LeDoux - Not for Heroes
4. Tracy Lawrence - I See It Now (I could listen to him for days, but only his old stuff)
5. Chris LeDoux - Go Riding, Young Cowboy
6. Hank Williams, Jr. - Old Habits
7. Gary Allen - She Gets Me
8. Tracy Lawrence - Alibis
9. Rodney Atkins - Wasted Whiskey
10. Kenny Chesney - In a Small Town

I really do have a lot of music on here, but I love that the 2 different artists I listen to the most pop up twice.. Makes my day go by LOTS faster being able to have music, since we can't get Pandora or anything that plays music on the internet.. I about went nuts before I got some on here!

Day 14.. A picture of you and your family

I LOVE them!

LOVE this baby!

I have had so much fun with Carson and Rochelle's baby Cameron living so close! She's right down the road and I go down and play with her as often as I can. She has the funnest personality. She's getting so big and even tho some of these aren't the greatest pictures, since the little fart doesn't hold still for very long. She LOVES looking at pictures of herself, but doesn't take that much time for you to take the picture, so they are kinda blurry

Aunt Tac givin loves♥

She LOVES her grandma!

Patty Cake

What ya lookin at?

Its blurry, but its such a good one of them!

I was watching her one day, and she was so tired. She didn't want to do anything without her blanky. She LOVES this thing.. She'll put it up to her face and press her face into it and shake her head. She decided her lady bug was a good place to take a break

This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Rochelle said she found her one morning like this

Baby blue eyes

She loves her Gramps

She can't quite reach the floor, so she puts her legs up and lets me push her around the room

Eatin puffs

No matter what kind of day I'm having I go over and see her and she brightens my day. I can't get enough of her!

Day 11

Day 11:
How you found out about blogger, and why you have one?

Well I found out from my ex boyfriends mom, she told me about hers.. I started it then, but didn't do very much. It wasn't till I found out that quite a few friends/people I grew up with and know from different places have one, and I enjoy reading about whats going on in their lives and their familys..
It ended up being a way for family to read about what was going on with Lance after the accident and the progress he was making. I'm not even sure if people read it or not, but it gives me something to do I guess.. Even tho I do have an extremely boring life! O well! =)

Blog Challenge: Day 11...

Day 11:

Another picture of you and your friends...

I miss these 2!! This was soooo long ago, but it was so much fun! Jess and B showed me my way into the single world a few years ago!!

Blog Challenge: Days 8, 9, & 10...

Day 8....
Short term goals for this month and why...

To get my old self back.. I'm missed it

Day 9:
Something you're proud of in the past few days...
Making it to work when I've been sick and had some other problems. I haven't let it affect my job, even when I really didn't want to have to go and deal with certain people. I've learned I'm stronger than I thought i was

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyper, mad...
Lets see
Happy: Anything upbeat that I can sing along with and bounce around
Sad: Mostly country, old sad country does the trick
Bored: Doesn't matter Country usually works
Hyper: Anything loud, Country, Rock, Rad... Lots of stuff
Mad: Mostly rock or even rap..

Blog Challenge: Day 7

A picture of something/someone that has the biggest impact on you..

MY FAMILY!!

They are the ones that no matter what I'm going thru pick me up when I'm down.. No matter how snotty or bratty I've been, when I need them the most they are always there.

I have the best parents around. They have helped me thru way too many hard times to mention, and I don't know where I would be with out them. People always say they have a "daddy's girl" or "momma's girl" But I think I'm both. I've shared the ranch and outdoor part of my life with my dad, but I've shared the craft, and indoor side with my mom. I look up to them both so much.

My mom has became my best friend. I look up to her so much. She's picked me up thru some dark days in my life and always lets me know just how much she loves me. I can go to her with just about anything. I don't always agree, and still tend to show my snotty side, but I can't even explain how much I love and appreciate her. I love you mom!

Blog Challenge: Day 6...

A Picture of your favorite superhero and why..


Ok so I don't really have a favorite superhero.. But I'd have to say Megamind! Classic story, evil villain, turned good.. Can't get any better than that! I love this movie! I'm a sucker for cartoons.. lol.. You give me a stack of Cartoons and I can be entertained all day long..

Blog Challenge: Day 5

A picture of somewhere you've been...

Recife Brazil.. I LOVED this trip!! We were there for 2 weeks the last of November into the first little bit of December in my senior year of High School.. I got to come back to freezing cold Enterprise with actual tan lines, that didn't come from a tanning bed.. I want to go back again

Porto de Galinhas.. The Chicken Beach.. We spent a day here while we were in Brazil lounging on the beach soaking up the sun. I got to snorkel on the reef and ended up cutting my left falling thru an open spot(typical me lol) We found a spot behind a restaurant and they came out with drinks, and the most AMAZING fried cheese.. They have chicken carvings all around town, because this is the port that they would ship in the slaves and it got nicknamed the chicken beach..

And yes I've held on of these bad boys.. I wish I had the picture of me holding one.. Its up in Enterprise somewhere.. It was the craziest thing.. It was HEAVY.. And had these major claws that would just wrap around your fingers.. We went to a place, and a guy that owned a restaurant saved them..

I need to get my pictures of our trip and scan them in.. It was an amazing trip, and I definately want to go back soon!

Blog Challenge: Day 4...

4: A Habit you wish you didn't have..

Soda.. UGH! I'm so bad with it.. I could drink WAY too many in a day and have no water.. Well unless you count the extra ice in my cup after it melts.. lol That is one thing that I have been trying like crazy to nip in the butt.. I got started on it a little too young, lol I have a picture of me holding a can of my dads in our hallway in nothing but a towel when I was about 4. So I've been getting water in the morning instead of a Lg Soda.. So if you see me with a massive headache you know why

Blog Challenge: Days 1, 2, and 3

Day 1: Include a recent picture of yourself and 15 interesting facts about you...

Sadly this is the most recent one that I have.. Lol It was New Years Eve, before going to dinner.

Ok so 15 Interesting Facts.. This is gonna be tough I think

1. Before my shoulder surgery I could just about turn my whole arm around, If I put my hand flat on the table and turned.. Yes it was gross, but I'm actually sad I can't do it anymore lol

2. I've always wanted to pursue my singing career, but never wanted that kind of a lifestyle when it comes to wanting a family

3. I've sang in front of over 5,000 people if not more

4. One of my biggest dream before I die, is to go to Nashville and visit the Grand 'Ol Oprey and stand on that original circle of hard wood floor and sing. I don't care if there's no one there to hear me, I just want to know I've sang on the same spot as all the legends in Country Music.

5. I like every bruise or scar I have from getting hurt myself, falling, running into a broken bike rack with the metal sticking out, getting kicked in the back by my horse, getting kicked in the shins, but I ABSOLUTLY hate my scars from my 2 surgerys. The 4 on my shoulder, and the 3 on my belly from my most recent one. Weird huh?

6. I'm extremely honest, maybe sometimes WAY too honest

7. I know it shouldn't but it BUGS me so bad when people don't like me

8. Even tho it sometimes slows me down from being sick, I've tried not to let my Crohn's Disease run my life

9. I'm now going to try the same thing with my Endometriosis

10. The biggest dream I've ever had was to become a mom

11. I would much rather live in a tiny shack with horses and cows with land in the country, than have a mansion in a big city

12. I've been driving ever since I was about 3 or so.. Started when my dad would have to feed cows and kick the hay outa the bed of the truck. He'd put it in overdrive and I'd steer. I even have some cute pictures of it

13. The best memories I have of when I was a kid was spending time with my dad and grandpa at the ranch. I learned to read by all the signs on the road on the way up, and I had the dash to our Ford Lariat memorized.

14. I was a grandpa's girl and miss him everyday

15. I was named after a Barrel Racer my parents seen at the NFR when my mom was pregnant with me. Tacy Lynn Johnson. If my parents hadn't went that year, my name would be Mallory

Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name...

I came up with it as my signature for text messages, and for some reason it stuck.. Lol Nothin too exciting

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends..

This one was hard, because ever since I've gained weight I absolutly HATE pictures lol.. But here's one from the Gunlock Rodeo last year

30 Day Blog Challenge..

Ok, So I'm stealing this from a friend. I look at everyone else's Blog's and realize they have WAY more to blog about than me.. So I'll give this a try.. Besides I get EXTREMELY bored at work most days anyway. So I'll do it Monday thru Friday, and then Friday's I'll just do extra ones for the weekend, since I don't have a computer at my house.

So Here is the list
Day 1 - Include a recent picture of yourself and 15 interesting facts about you.. This could be difficult

Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog name

Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends

Day 4 - A habit you wish you didn't have

Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been to

Day 6 - A favorite super hero and why

Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyper, mad

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12 - How you found out about blogger and why you have one

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently ( I may skip that one lol)

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Day 15 - Put your Ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18 - Plans/Dreams/Goals you have

Day 19 - Nicknames you have and why you have them

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

Day 25 - What I would find in your bag

Day 26 - What do you think about your friends

Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28 - A picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30 - Your favorite song

After reading thru these I'm a little bit scared to answer them, but I think it will do me some good! I'm glad I came across this on Lisa's page so lets hope I can keep with it for a month! Lol

Have ya ever had one of those days that you just want to sit and cry?

So I'm sitting here bored at work, reading thru everyone's blogs learning about what is going on in everyone's lives, and it just makes me sit here and cry.. I'm so glad that I don't really have anyone around me at work, cuz I'd feel awfully stupid.. Reading about how all the people I went to high school with are married and having babies is really taking a toll on me. I guess I should probably tell you a little why..
Well a couple months ago I started having extreme pain in the lower right side of my abdomen, and into my back. I was having that time of the month, and just figured I was having pretty bad cramps so I didn't think much of it... Well it started getting worse and everyone I talked to told me to call my doctor. Well after 5 phone calls and messages they finally called me back saying I needed to go to an OBGYN. So I made my appointment. Well in the week or so I had to wait I ended up in the ER late one night becuz it got so unbearable I couldn't walk. They did all kind of tests and found nothing wrong. A lady at work told me it sounded to her like endometriosis, so I figured I'd wait to see what the other doctor said. So I finally get into the OBGYN and he does some tests and says he can't seem to find a problem and says it may have to do with my Crohn's disease.. Well I've had Crohn's for years and years, and know exactly what a flare up feels like. This wasn't it. So long story short I made another ER trip, 3 trips to instacare, one to my normal doctor, and finally decided to go to another OBGYN. I was so frustrated getting told that nothing was wrong with me, when I knew there was. I had that time of the month for a month and a half, and was in extreme pain. K well I've never been to medical school, but I know when something isn't right. So I finally got into the new OBGYN on a Friday and told him everything that was going on, and he said it sounded to him like Endometriosis and that he had to do a Diagnostic Laparascopy to be sure. So he hurried and got me scheduled for that coming Wednesday.. I was scared to have to have surgery, but wasn't really that worried about the outcome. I know girls that have it and manage it and are fine.
So Wednesday comes around and I start freaking out.. The doctor said it was a simple procedure, just 2 incisions. One above my pelvic bone and one in my belly button. Cake. So after waiting forever cuz the doctor was running late, and the hospital taking someone into surgery before me I finally get in there and don't remember anything after they started wheeling me outa the room. When I came to I remember the doctor trying to show me pictures of what he had found, and he obviously wasn't listening to how freaking blind I am without my glasses cuz I couldn't see anything but a blur. But he said that he had found a whole mess of it in me. He cautorized it all, but he said that some of it was extremely thick and I'd be pretty sore. He did tell me he had to make another incision on my left hip.. All in all after the fact that I finally made myself get up and walk I, except for some shaky legs and being pretty sore I was fine. Went home and layed down for a while but made sure I'd get up and walk, cuz during the procedure they pump you full of air, and after they can't get it all out. Well that makes for an air bubble that is just floating around in you.. And I can be the first to tell you that IT HURTS! I have no idea how the stupid thing would float to my shoulder, but it did. Walking around was the only thing I could do to get it to float somewhere else and not hurt.
But I was happy he had found the problem and he told me he was going to put me on the depo shot to stop the growth. It totally stops your cycle and makes it so it can't grow. Easy right? Well after that I get told that if I ever want kids I have to seriously start thinking of it in the next little while. He says that when I do they can't be spaced far, because I'll need a hysterectomy in the next few years..
Well that would be just great for someone who is married and all that. Not a 24 year old divorced girl. I've already been terrified of the fact that with my Crohn's I may have some problems getting pregnant when the time comes and now this. I know that this will make it ten times harder to get pregnant and I'm no where close to having that happen.
So here I sit trying to wrap my head around the fact there is a chance I may not be able to have babies when the time is right, and read about everyone else's happy family. I'm not writing this to get sympathy, I know that everyone has troubles and I'll get thru it. I just needed to finally get out my feelings. Its not something I feel like I can just talk to anyone about cuz I get told, "well if its meant to be it will happen" Well thats hard to hear sometimes, I've heard it for 3 1/2 years since getting divorced. I know I don't regret anything in my life because I'm a stronger person, but its hard to think that I woulda been married 6 years this month and already been a mom, and now there's a chance I wont get that.. Its just kind of hard.
Well ok thats enough of the poor me syndrom. It helps to get it out, even if its on my blog for everyone to see. I'm so happy for all of my friends (old high school friends or new) on here that have the cutest little familys. I love reading about the cute things that happen in your life. I hope everyone is well, and I'm sorry that this is not the happiest post, but I finally needed to get out my fears about all of this. Thanks for listening!